Attack of the Mental Chattering Monkeys

I don't know why I'm having such a rough time sleeping in lately. On Tuesdays and Fridays I don't have to be at work until the early afternoon but, without fail, by 6:30 in the morning I'm bolt awake, my brain blasting with thoughts about everything and anything. I don't know if that means that I'm sleeping more efficiently, but it sure doesn't help to find your eyes open, staring at the ceiling, knowing that you're about five minutes away from suffering an Attack of the Mental Chattering Monkeys: Pilates or pool today? When do I get down to the health centre to get the blood test sorted out? What fresh hell am I going to encounter at the perfume pump company? Do I go to get weighed in this morning or do I leave it 'til Friday? Is it worth trying to get to know Jesús better or should I just leave it and let him make a move if he's truly interested? Do we have parking at the youth hostel if we take the cars to Bilbao? If Igo to the pool in the Casa del Campo is it going to be full of pensioners who swim too slow? Has the chain stretched? Why doesn't the toilet drip water in the morning, just at night? Why doesn't Paloma the lawyer pick up the phone when I call?

I know why this is: I don't really have anyone I talk to about normal stuff (well, I do, but I'm also aware that I can't push the limits too far.) And the thoughts end up stuck in my head, and to tamp them down, I end up doing stuff like swimming and cycling and Pilates and teaching and messing about on the Internet. Because it's therapy. Because it makes me feel better. Because it's a good way of ignoring the little stuff that ends up getting blown out of proportion by stress and worry because I didn't take care of it in the first place. I don't want to bother Kinga or Tora or my parents or Yago with shit that really isn't that important. But I'm also fully aware that canning feelings and worries and stress inside is not a way of dealing with it, either.

I don't want this stuff to affect my progress, especially since some of the Chattering Monkeys do actually talk about cycling-related issues from time to time. Maybe I should think about joining a Zen dojo to try to learn to clear my brain so that the Mental Chattering Monkeys just stay that way - they stay inside my brain, where they can be silenced and prevented from causing trouble.