9:43 AM

John, the guy who taught countless adults and kids from Kemptville to drive, once stopped a driving practice session I had with him because I was so pissed off and wound up from work that I wasn't able to concentrate properly on driving. He literally stopped the car in the middle of Asa Street, ordered me into the passengers' side seat of his adapted K-Car and drove me home. I felt ashamed. Controlling my temper is never something I've been particularly good at, especially when it's something that I can't change anyway. I turn into Dawna Duck: quacking (qwacking?), yelling, not able to disconnect enough to talk myself out of the red fog.

It's 9:41. In 2.09 km I have been cut off twice, had three different people with umbrellas walk out in front of me to cross the street without looking. (Want to know what Hell is going to look like when you die? I'll tell you. It's raining and full of very short Madrileños with golf umbrellas.) I am now standing under the eaves of the Teatro Real and the sleet is coming down so hard I can't see the Palacio Real, 250 metres away. Enough of this shit. I call Yago.

¿Hola?
Hi, it's me. I'm sorry to bother you, but I have a question.
Shoot.
I'm standing beside the Teatro Real and it's been sleeting and raining for the last ten minutes. I know that we said that I had to do the five rides up La Marañosa today, but can I please do it tomorrow with the group ride? This is nuts.
Yeah, the weather is pretty bad. Go ahead and do it tomorrow.
So, trainer today?
Yeah, do a bit on the trainer and then tomorrow when you go out riding, do the rides up during or after the group ride.
OK. Thanks.
Hey, by the way, thanks for the funny e-mails with the English cycling slang. I've really enjoyed them.
No problem. And if I get more, I'll send them your way.
Right.

I hate bailing like this, but hell, it's Friday and there'll be no one out on those roads. The one person who you might even run into down around that way, training on a Friday, is in California, the lucky bastard. I don't mind riding in inclement weather if I'm with other people but there ain't no way, no how I'm going down those hills with no one to look out after me.